Category Archives: Be Yourself

Loving What Is

Do you ever find yourself resisting what is?  You know, really wishing that life, as it is in the Present moment, was different than it currently is?  

Doesn’t it kinda suck to wish your life were different?  

Wouldn’t it feel better to love what is going on in your life?

For me the answer to all these questions is a big fat YES!

Recently I found myself really wishing life was different than it is.  I had made a mistake on some paperwork and the result was a rather long delay in the arrival of some money being paid to me.  This impacted me financially in a big way.  Although this impact was temporary, I felt very limited.  I was hating the fact that I had put myself in a position that was so precarious.  Needless to say, all these feelings were not so fun and rather disempowering.

When I feel this way I always head to a few choice resources that help me gain a more empowered perspective.  After getting myself back into shape, I decided to enjoy my life regardless of what is going on.  I gave myself permission to love what is.

How does one love something like being broke, angry, sad, etc? 

Well, I started by thinking about all that was awesome in my life.  Regardless of what my bank account looks like, I have an amazing family, friends that anyone would envy, incredible clients, a great apartment, food in my refrigerator, I live in a beautiful place, and I am in good health.  All of this exists in my world at all times, no matter what is going on.  So, I choose to focus on the goodness.

Additionally, I decided to look for what was good about being temporarily “broke”.  This was surprisingly easy.  I was able to really look at my life and start removing and discarding what was old and doesn’t work.  This includes clothes in my closet, other stuff in my house and in my mind and habits around money.  The best part is that I now KNOW I can be happy in the face of a difficult situation.  If you ask me, that is POWER.

What is going on in your Present Moment that you are resisting or making wrong?

Will you join me in finding what is awesome about this moment? Trust me, it’s fun. 😉

I would love to hear about what is so awesome about your current challenges in the comments below.

If you found value in this post or see value in it for someone you know, I invite you to share this bad boy and sign-up for updates and more fabulous content on the right side of the screen…cuz I want to keep playing with you. 🙂


Authenticity Is The New Black

September 21, 2012

Hello Ladies!  The theme for this week’s post is AUTHENTICITY

This was born from a late night conversation over drinks with some of my seriously sassy, sexy and powerful cohorts.  We were having an amazing conversation about the power of really owning our femininity and how much more fun our lives are when we are unapologetically ourselves.  During this conversation my friend and jewelry designer extraordinaire, Lauren Harkness, coined one of the best phrases I have heard in a long time…

 “Authenticity is the new black.”

If you think about this it is soooooo true.  Like black, it looks good on everyone, never goes out of style and it’s slimming (it helps us drop that unwanted baggage 😉 ).

In the spirit of authenticity, I must admit that I have been rolling around in the muck of self-doubt and limiting thoughts lately. This is not something that is easy for me to share in such a public way but I am committed to walking my talk so here it is…

Authenticity and vulnerability are really easy for me in circles where I know the landscape.  I am part of a few different communities of women where I know I can go and brag about how awesome my life is, show up crying because I’m just not sure I can pull off my dream and everything in between and these women will still love me, no matter what. Additionally, my willingness to be authentic and vulnerable in these situations often gives others the permission they need to let go and be authentic in my presence.  I like that I can be authentic in these situations and provide a safe space for others to be themselves.  Then there is the arena of the interwebs…

I am still pretty comfortable sharing what is going on with me to an unknown number of people I will likely never know, once I have moved through the muck of feeling pathetic, paralyzed, sad, lonely, etc and have a nice shiny lesson to share.  It is A LOT less comfortable for me to share, with the masses, when I am actually in the muck rolling around in the disempowering crap I am buying into.

Why is this, you ask?  Well, if I am being authentic I have to admit it is because I have a fear that I will be judged.  I don’t know that y’all are a safe space with an understanding that ANYTHING a girl is feeling or going through is not good or bad — it just is. If some of you judge me then maybe you won’t read this blog anymore, or maybe you will tell someone out there that I am a big lame-o…the possibilities are endless, really.

I also need to admit that I HATE that part of me cares what anyone thinks.  While most of me really does get that each person is entitled to his/her opinion and that is nobody’s business but their own, there is still a part of me that still thinks another person’s opinion could actually hurt me, which is a bunch of poo.

The story I tell myself is that I am a coach and it is my job not to buy into your stories about yourself and hold the vision of your magnificence that lies beyond the stories and fear.  And as this coachy person, I should never feel pathetic, fearful, disempowered, etc.

 How can my clients take me seriously if I have not mastered all my emotions?

 If I am doing it right isn’t there a point where all disempowering thoughts and emotions cease?  

 Shouldn’t I have achieved this if I am going to go spouting wisdom out in the world? 

The answer to all these questions is that I am human, just like everyone else, not Jesus or Buddha. If I am here on Earth it must be my job to be a human. 

Being human means having days where you feel like you could do and be anything followed by days when you wonder if anyone likes you, if you will ever truly succeed, if you will ever have another “Good Hair Day”, etc.  Humans have these days. This humanity is what allows me to connect with and really get where my clients are coming from.  One of the greatest gifts I ever received from a teacher was when that teacher shared the disempowering moments she still struggles with.

This woman is a powerhouse and is having an incredible impact on women all over the world.  She is the epitome of success in my eyes AND she has “bad” days.  Many of the things she struggles with I also struggle with AND she is kicking ass in her life.  How can this be?  It then became very clear to me…I do not have to be PERFECT to be successful.

I can have a day or two (or twenty) where I feel like shit and still rock my life.  I can move forward regardless of what is going on inside my head.  Hallelujah!  Talk about permission to go for it.  This lit a serious fire under my ass.  Now I could go out in the world and live my passion in my own imperfect and awesome way.  Woo hoo!!!

So, aside from my desire to be AUTHENTIC with you, I also hope that this post will fuel your permission to go out and do whatever it is that you are waiting to start doing when you are perfect.  I hope you find permission to go get your GROOVE on in a gloriously imperfect way.  I hope that you will march boldly forward even while rolling around in the muck of self-doubt and fear.  And, I hope that you will try on some unabashed AUTHENTICITY.  Like black, it really does look good on anyone. 🙂

I would love to hear about your experiences and/or feelings about authenticity in the comments below.


Hurling Hatchets

September 14, 2012

Hello Friends!  As you may or may not know, my passion and work is to empower women to ignite that fire inside that reveals the path to profound self-love and draws the opposite sex in like a moth to a flame.  Really, this has very little to do with the men and everything to do with how we, as women, feel about ourselves and live life.

One of the keys to profound self-love is to allow yourself to embody ALL of who you are with love and acceptance.  This means making no apologies for who and what you are, stop giving a sh*t what others think and deciding that you are PERFECT exactly as you are.  Does the thought of this make your heart sing or your chest tighten?  Are you thinking this is crazy talk?  Are you saying “Hell Yes!”?  Sometimes I think and feel all of these things…at the same time.  I know, first hand, the power of facing the fear and taking this leap.

I recently had an experience that really highlighted the power of self-acceptance.  First, I should give you a little back ground.  As any of my friends would likely tell you, I am an intense person.  In addition to my love of laughter, inappropriate humor, and cute animal pics, I have been compared to She-Ra, Zena the Warrior Princess and an Amazon warrior woman.  Part of me has always been proud of my warrior-like ways.  When I embody this part of myself I feel strong, fiercely loving and capable of anything.  In certain circles I let this part of me shine and people love me all the more for it.  However, not everyone loves this kind of energy.  More than once I was smacked down, criticized or rejected by others that were threatened by or could not identify with this kind of energy.   I learned from a young age to squash this part of myself and be smaller to accommodate others opinions for my own safety.  Putting myself “out there” became terrifying.  Eventually, I learned to feel safe with greater amounts of recognition but still only felt safe when playing small, as stepping into my power and being me meant opening myself up for ridicule.  Fast forward to present time…

I have now stepped into this power and am committed to living in a place of authenticity and vulnerability.  It does not mean I don’t feel scared or doubt myself; it does mean that I put on my big girl panties, stay present with what I am feeling and move through the discomfort of playing a bigger game.  It feels amazing to go through all the ups and downs and know that I am so completely and utterly committed to myself and those I serve that absolutely nothing will stop me.

All that being said, I recently spent the weekend with my family, all warrior-types in their own right, and enjoyed some quality family bonding time.  (Even in this group, where I am by no means the most intense person, I find that I have a tendency to hold myself back a little.)  All this family bonding was taking place at my aunt and uncles home.  They have a great piece of property looking on Mt Shasta that they have turned into a play ground of sorts.  Keeping with the “Warrior” theme, my uncle has a target for his bow and arrow and a chunk of wood strung up to throw hatchets and/or knives at.

While I was hanging out on the porch relaxing after the days activities my cousin’s girlfriend asked me if I wanted to throw the hatchet with her.  It seemed like a good idea so I went with it and it was AMAZING!!!  I had never thrown a hatchet before that moment.  Why did it feel so incredibly natural?  Why was I so good at it?  I instantly had an ability to focus that was beyond anything I had ever experienced.  I threw the hatchet over and over, easily correcting myself and getting better with each throw.  Then the time came to take it to the next level…a choreographed battle routine.

Ok, so the battle routine was my uncle’s idea.  He proposed that I run behind him as he shoot his bow and arrow, at which point he would fall back and I take the lead, chucking the hatchet as I run toward the target.  I then would fall back and he would take the lead, shooting another arrow and throwing a knife.  This is the point where I would usually shy away because I didn’t want to suck or let anyone see me suck.  I would have found an excuse, any excuse, not to do it.  To do this I had to, not only embrace that Inner Warrior Goddess, but let her bass ass self run wild. Since giving a sh*t what others think of me is much lower on my list of things to think about than it used to be, I decided, “What the Hell…this might be fun.”  I was right.  It was not only fun, it was AWESOME!!!

Again, I was shocked at how good I was at it and how in my “Groove” I was.  It was obvious, I was born to hurl a hatchet.  For the first time in my entire life, I was fully embracing the Warrior Goddess part of myself.  I was not hiding, making myself small or wrong.  I was simply owning that sh*t.

For days following this I was on a major high.  I could be 100% me and it was okay.  One might even say that I felt SAFE being me.  There are still those out there that will shy away from my intensity and my sexy hatchet hurling ways, and that is okay.  Not everyone has to love me.  I love myself enough for all of us.

More than that I got the invaluable experience of seeing how I rocked it when I let myself be me.  When I let my full self shine and engage in what I am doing, it was easy and I was really good.  Since my moment of enlightenment through hatched-hurling, I have been living life without apology and it has been amazing.  My coaching practice is growing, I am creating an incredible life, attract people that blow my mind with their magnificence and feel so at ease knowing all I have to do to be happy and successful in this world is be ME.  The ME that has all sorts of dents in my armor , feels like a mess sometimes and also knows that she is one HOT force to be reckoned with.

Are you living your life full out?

Are you unapologetically you when you go out in the world?

I hope so.  I want that for every man, woman and child.  If you are not, I invite you to do a little experiment.  Go out in the world for one day or even one hour and pretend that it is perfectly safe and acceptable to be 100% yourself regardless of the opinion of others.  I am not asking you to change your actions, just pretend that how you are right now is perfect.

How does this change your experience of the world?

How does this influence your interactions with others?

What does this feel like for you?

What do you notice that is different for you when doing this?

I would love to hear about how this experiment goes for you in the comments below.

Happy experimenting…