Category Archives: Desire

How Do You Do Desire?

September 27, 2012

What do you DESIRE?

Do your desires light you up and excite you?

Do you worry that they will never happen?

Do your desires provoke joy or anxiety?

Lately I have really been contemplating the concept of how I think and feel about what I desire.  When I think about some of the things I desire, I feel so good.  Like when I think about my family’s annual camping trip each Fall.  I really look forward to it each year.  I have a strong desire to attend because I enjoy being with my family so much and we have so much fun.  Just thinking about my desire to be with them gives me warm fuzzies and I have NO doubt that we will have an amazing time together.

Then there are other things that I desire that see as out of reach and I worry about when and if it will ever happen.  These desires are often about my desired income/lifestyle and romance.  You know the fun stuff like “Will I ever have enough money to work less and play more?” or “Will I ever meet a man who I will fall in love with and will fall in love with me?”.  These thoughts are not exactly oozing with empowerment, are they?

Some desires I am really excited about and not attached to when or if they ever happen.  Just the thought of other desires not coming to fruition produces feelings of anxiety and a need to make “it” happen.  How is it that one can have such completely different attitudes about the same thing — DESIRE?

To be honest, the last couple weeks I have been knee-deep in the muck of worrying about my DESIRES regarding my business and romance.  What I realized is that in these areas I am giving my power away in some regard.  What it boils down to is that I have been listening to and believing this story, “I have so much to offer and so many ways I would love to serve and I don’t trust that clients/men will be able to recognize that.”  This story, is doing two things:

  • It puts my happiness and ability to serve at the mercy of another person, be that potential client or potential romantic partner
  • This pigeon-holes my potential clients and romantic partners as being blind to what is in front of them

It is me assuming they can’t get past their “stuff” enough to really engage with me.  That is so not fair to them or me.  Oh, and it is a total lie.

So, I think it all boils down to is when we believe the power to receive or experience what we desire comes from somewhere outside of us, we feel very disempowered and at the mercy of the whims of another.  We become very attached to making sure it happens and often attempt to force the desire into being.  We are compelled to make it happen.  Yet, when we feel excited yet unattached to the manifestation of our desire we are relaxed and joyful.  We take inspired action and allow our desire to come to us.  Neale Donald Walsch explains desire without attachment in a very powerful way:

“…desire is a powerful force that can be used to make things happen.

Marcia Weider said that, and she was right. Yet do not confuse desire with expectation, or with need.  Desire has an entirely different quality to it. You can desire something without needing or requiring it.

That little difference makes everything work. That little difference is the whole trick. Desire, do not Require. To desire propels. To require compels. Life will not be compelled, but it can be coaxed…

Whoever or whatever you are trying to compel today, stop it. Just…fall back into the soft cotton of desire.”

Can you think of some areas you are requiring what you desire?  

Can you think of areas where you desire without attachment? 

How do you feel when you think about each of these areas?  

Being that we are human, we likely experience both requiring what we desire and being unattached to what we desire.  

Which way of being feels better?  

Which way of being successfully brings your desires to fruition?

I would bet that desire without attachment is the answer to both.  So, if that’s the case, I invite you to give being unattached to what you have been requiring a try.  Even if it is just for a few minutes, hours or days and see what happens and how you feel.  It may seem counterintuitive, but it works.  As Neale said above, “…fall back into the soft cotton of desire,” and allow yourself take inspired action and relax.  

I am giving this a shot.  Want to join me?  I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding DESIRE in the comments below.

xoxo,