Recently I have become really aware of a dynamic, I believe, is responsible for what ails our world and, at very least, our romantic relationships. I call this dynamic “Us and Them”.
What first got me present to “Us and Them” was an article I read discussing why the author thought it would be a bad idea to have a male Secretary of State.
This article was filled with all the reasons a woman would be better at the job and all the characteristics of a man that would make a man a dangerous choice. The article was overflowing with generalizations of men and women.
Basically, the article stated that women are nurturers, more emotionally intelligent and men are unable to effectively express emotions so resort to macho-type tactics which will piss-off other world leaders.
There are a plethora of examples supporting these generalizations, but they are not always true.
In my life, one of the most diplomatic and emotionally intelligent people I have ever met is a man.
On the other hand, the most destructive, manipulative, and drama inciting person I have ever experienced is a woman.
Nothing like the stereotype would dictate.
By making politics, familial, friend, work or romantic relationships about men vs women, we do not allow for collaboration with or appreciation of the opposite sex and what they have to offer.
When we pit ourselves as something other than, or in opposition to, another person or group, we shut down the possibility of love and mutual respect.
At that moment we stop being concerned about the well-being of another and more concerned with what we are getting out of the situation at the expense of love.
In today’s society we are taught that this is normal and acceptable. I will venture to say that it is not acceptable if what we want is to live a happy life full of JOY and LOVE.
Next time you encounter someone being unkind, cranky, or generally anti-social, try taking a step back and get curious about that person and what they might be feeling.
I guarantee they are not feeling happy or empowered. Give them the benefit of the doubt, just this once, and send them thoughts and/or words of love and compassion.
You would be surprised how it can transform a situation or dynamic.
Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you?
I have to be honest, despite my commitment to be more interested in the well-being of another over my own agenda, I still find myself engaging in “Us and Them” thoughts.
It is unrealistic to think you will never have “Us and Them” type thoughts. You will have them.
The key is to choose a new thought when you notice yourself having one. Choose a thought of love and compassion and carry on.
The quickest way for me to bridge the gap between “Us and Them” and “Love and Compassion” is to focus on what you APPRECIATE about the person. APPRECIATION IS A MIRACLE WORKER.
In a conflict between a man and woman, APPRECIATION OF A MAN FROM A WOMAN closes the gap faster than anything I have ever experienced it. (For more information on Man Appreciation visit http://jenniferweddle.com/appreciate-the-heck-out-of-him/ )
That does not mean it is only the woman’s job, but if you have it in you to conjure some appreciation, Ladies, I suggest you give it a try. It will definitely benefit YOU.
I will now step down from my soapbox with love and compassion for each and every one of you. 🙂
Do you have any burning thoughts and/or opinions on the subject? I would love to hear them in the comments below.