You Are Perfect Just As You Are…Seriously

This week I want to talk about a crazy concept:

You are perfect as you are.

Yes, just as you are.

You may be saying to yourself, “Duh.  Of course I am.”  Or maybe you are not even able to fathom the concept.

For those of you who fall into the latter category, or somewhere in between, I want to share with you an experience I had with a man that really brought this home for me.

I was recently out to eat with a man I know.  We were discussing health and fitness over a big fattening Southern breakfast.  I was saying something about not being willing to do anything restrictive to lose weight and that my diet plan is to stop eating when I am full.  He asked why I would want to lose weight.  To me it was obvious…because I have an extra 15-20 lbs on me right now. Duh.

(Disclaimer: I am very happy with my body and love it.  Releasing extra weight is a gift to my body and in no way has anything to do with my sense of beauty or self-worth.)

His responded with, “I know you are going to do whatever you want to do regardless of what I say (true), but please, don’t lose weight.  You are perfect just as you are.”


In disbelief I say, “Even if that means I have a belly?”

Again his response, “Yes.  You’ve got it goin’ on.”


Even though I don’t have a thing about having a few voluptuous pounds on me, it was still a shock to hear a man would prefer this version of me over the skinnier version.  What’s even more surprising to me is that this is surprising to me.

I mean come on, I am all about empowering the Ladies and loving the Dudes and I am shocked that a man would prefer the more voluptuous version of me.  Wow.  Looks like I have not been giving them the credit they deserve.

Side note: all this lead me to believe that every other time a man has said something along these lines to a woman, throughout time and space, that he probably meant it.  Again, Wow.

So Ladies, if you are like me and have trouble grasping that another would prefer you just as you are, I invite you to allow yourself to believe that it is true.  If for no other reason than it feels really good.

To bring it home, this is not about what a man, or anyone else, thinks about you.  This is about what you think and feel about yourself.  If you love yourself just as you are YOU feel better and give others the gift of seeing you and loving you just as you are.  Believe me, they WANT that gift.

Does this ring true for you? 

Have you ever experienced loving yourself as you are? 

Does this sound like crazy talk?

Any other thoughts on the subject?  If so I would love to hear your comments below.




7 thoughts on “You Are Perfect Just As You Are…Seriously

  1. Russ Collar

    Hi Jen,
    Once again so dead on though this comes as no revelation to me personally. Actually taken to the next level sometimes I have gone out of my way to present or acknowledge my perceviablly assumed shortcomings right off the bat with this in mind… If another person gets it that we are actualy wonderful as we are then no telling what wonderful realm we may approach together… where-as if another is quickly ready to judge us negativly then so be it because I would just as soon sort out the shallow ones quickly that I might move on to more appropriate company. You and I and each of us are indeed wonderful as we are and even though we each have things to work on that is no grounds for judgement by another unless they suffer some dillusion of self aggrandizement equivilant to being taller than others by simply cutting off the heads of others. You are clearly wonderful as you are and I can only humbly feel the same without shallow regard to the extras pounds I might carry around… Who knows??? May lean timnes will come and I will be glad for the little extra curves…Surely i can’t see them as negative on you or me. Namaste dear one. Thank you for your work and caring. Russ

  2. Kelly

    Body image is something most of us struggle to deal with at least on some level. What we see in the mirror is not what others see… we, especially women, are so hard on ourselves.
    Your man, friend, gave you a beautiful gift didn’t he? Keep that one tucked inside your heart and mind forever… Kelly

  3. Walter


    When a man sees a woman, and loves her, he sees nothing more than her. He looks into her eyes and sees her; her soul, her weaknesses, her strengths; nothing but the best of her traits.

    I know that your writing sides with those that haven’t yet found their better halves, but for those women out there, and this includes you Jennfier; be yourselves.

    Those who will fall for you will fall for you. Please do not spend too much time fixing yourself. You are who you are, and we fall for that. When all is said and done, we fall for you, for your weaknesses, and your strengths, and your aspirations. The love you are looking for will come to you and that love will be unconditional.

    Keep on living, and being the best women that you can be. Love will sneak upon you, while you are doing good work, and don’t be surprised when something easy, some easy love, comes upon you without you even trying.


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